new year, new chapter, new beginning

Boarding on the flight going back home, for 2 hours my mind started drifting to the memories.

Once, I was told a story of someone losing his uncle. When everybody came home but he didn't, rumours travel around mocking his absence at the funeral. When I met him, he told me the reason of his absence. He was so close to his uncle that when he is still alive they shared so much together even went to an adventure of lifetime together. He escapes the funeral because he doesn't want to be seen weak by crying over the lost and because, he’ll definitely cry over it. But most of all, he escaped because he’d done the best of life with him. He has no regrets and no one to lose. And every time I got really mad at someone, he will ask me 'what if that person got run over by a car, will u cry over her?' it’s my housemate (at that time), so ya, definitely I will. And ... I'm not mad anymore ... Just like that.

Reminiscence that … for 2 and half hours flight, I travel around the memory lane. Have I done the best of life with my father? I am very proud to say, yes I did. I have been living with him, longer than anyone except my mother. He has beaten me harder than he ever did to any of my siblings. He beat me physically and emotionally. When I was a kid, I hated it. But as years takes me to see there’s more to life than hated what he did, I came home every possibility to see him, shake and hugged him, gave him what I earned and told him to look after his health.

Did I have the best memory of him? Although I am a person who treasures memories, and I can remember almost every details of my life … Sadly, I have only one fondest memory of him. The others are too sad to reminiscence. Nevertheless, he has been the person who has a lot of stories to tell and I knew most of it. I didn’t cry at my father’s funeral because I have no regrets. In fact, I didn’t cry at all. I have done the best as a daughter and I secretly praised myself for it when I saw my other half-siblings crying over him. Damn! That certain ‘He’ indeed has a lot impact on my life.

One great thing I learnt from my father’s life, always be organized.

So long my father. You will be remembered, just like you want. I will make sure of it. It’s been a great adventure of life with you. Now, my new chapter of life has begun. At first, it’s too good to be true but I realized my mother's long suffering has been stop by Allah. Looks like, someone has been praying so hard.

So much to plan for my new life.
So much to fight for, so much to take care of.

So long my cradle of life, your stories are live to be told.

Al-fatihah.