too sweet for your less-sugar coffee

I often received an email about ‘friendship’ that stated I should forward it to as many friends I had on my list (even to the sender) and see how many came back to me. As if many of those friends are rajin enough to forward the email back to me. I probably one of those who read these email and as soon as you realize what it was about, you move to the next email with the title ‘Lawak hari rabu’ or ‘If you seek Amy on one of these days’ forwarded by your other concern friends.

Ok. This isn’t about that friendly email. There aren’t any necessities for me to forward such email to see how many friends I got in my life and the fact that how many of them are ‘good friends’ or ‘true friends’. You don’t need to forward emails to identify them; you can see it right through their skin. How many good friends you had in your life? And how many of them are true? Good friend take care of your heart, your feeling, while true friends will say something like ‘I’m sorry, but that’s the truth’. OK, so what will you do if you come across a friend that is too good to be true?

Every morning the first thing this person will do when she saw you is say hi while her eyes scrutinize your dress with a ‘judging look’. And her comment will be something nice like ‘oh my, your dress is pretty’ or just screaming out loud ‘cantikkk’ before she even say hi.

If you made any changes to your appearance (cut hair, or you threading your eyebrow etc.), she’ll be the first person to notice even if she is the last person you saw that morning (given that she came late often than anyone else). She will talk about the changes you made for the whole day and made everyone else talk about it. You had no choice but to reveal how you did it, where you did it, how much it costs you etc. even if you hate bragging about something like that. The way she talks about it to anyone else to make them notice is too irritating to bypass. She will notice if your dress is new, if your handbag is new. It makes you wonder if she ever noticed the last handbag you used is already koyak-rabak.

If she saw you bought new moisturizer or new compact powder she will talk about it, the next day. How was it, is it ok, is it good while you had never heard of any product that will give you result the first time you applied it to your face. Not to mention the face powder is the one you used before. What can possibly the result of the new one you bought just because you’re running out of stock?

You went to pharmacy with her and conveniently brag about certain face moisturizer that you once bought because it’s on sale and the price is cheaper and the result is somewhat makes you happy. But, that time, you didn’t buy any because of the price. 3 days later, she scrutinized your face in every chances she got saying your skin is flawless and the certain moisturizer is indeed a good product. You were like… Oh my god! First you went with her and she saw that you didn’t buy any and second, to say that your skin is flawless is a blatant lie. No one has ever said that and you never expected anyone to say such thing and since it came from a person whose spending most of her time judging your appearance… it is really getting on your nerves. Nevertheless, you just said I didn’t buy any, you saw it. But she didn’t notice the sound of ‘you annoyed me’ in your voice and continued bragging about your so-called flawless skin in front of the others (and the boss for that matter) and while in the middle of discussing other topic. For god sake!

None of her comment is actually able to hurt anyone’s feeling in any sense because it is all so sweet. Too sweet that you cannot put it in your less sugar coffee. So somebody will ask you, then why the hell you bad-mouthing her? Simply because it is what you describe as too much of something and it isn’t good for your health. And when there’s too much of flattering remark, you started to feel uncomfortable and doubt any of it was true.

All in all this kind of friend deserved our sympathy, mercy… maybe even forgiveness. For me, I make an effort to see on some optimistic perspective. Growing up in urban area where everyone expecting higher than you can achieve... like Be nice to everyone, talk sweetly… to get what you wanted from them… you know, that kind of thing. Turn out, when real friend came along, they’re trying hard to keep this friend but didn’t realize they’re driving them away instead. Trying very hard and it’ll look and sounds unnatural, it starts freak you out. The truth is, we never really need ‘good friends’ all the time. We need some bitter taste of the truth from the ‘true friends’. We might tripped over and hurt our knee sometimes but that’s what makes life truly wonderful, isn’t? It's like the saying... A good friend will tell you what you want to hear. A true friend will always tell the truth.

p/s: A good friend will help you move. A true friend will help you move a body. Hehe